Tall Tales
It's like every morning I wake up I've got some wicked new skill... like the time I woke up and found out I could suddenly work doorknobs. Or another time I discovered that if I stand on top of an upside down bowl I can reach the top of the stove. Mom was thrilled to see that one. (The panicked terror look on her face just made me realise how proud she must have been.) At this rate I expect that by next week I'll be able to do origami and speak Russian.
No, really... I haven't turned my back on you. I'm just refusing to look in your direction. It's a subtle difference.
Anyhow... while exploring these new skills I keep developing I recently discovered that I could talk... like proper Englishes with actual real words and everything! Seriously!
Well, as long as every conversation only ever uses the words 'apple', 'happy', 'more', 'bye-bye', and/or 'onion.' At the moment, that's pretty much all I've got. Plus I can make a few animal noises, depending on what I had for dinner.
I'll admit my current vocabulary range somewhat limits my ability to argue that Major League Baseball needs to expand the first round of playoffs from 5 games to 7, cause any team can get hot enough to beat the Phillies 3 in a row even if they aren't the better team (am I right uncle Dave?)
Diverse vocabulary or not, I still got my cute-on.
Of course, given I can talk now I've been in deep conversation with Mom and Dad lately about politics in this country. As most children under two would be. And let me tell you... they've been opening my eyes to how Australian government really works.
Mom and Dad try to put me on a workplace agreement. I told them they could take their contract and "Apple onion bye-bye" it!
So it turns out that there's an election coming, and I feel the need to take part. I just don't believe anyone is really looking out for the interests of toddlers these days. Where are the tiny tax breaks for tiny plastic animals?
I demand a vote! I demand justice! And equality! And watermelon served twice daily.
I started looking into this whole 'voting' thing and found out you need to be a registered Australian citizen to have a say. Go figure.
I researched online. I mean, after I finished checking out the latest updates to my other blog (www.cuterthansuricruise.com)
I found out that to be eligible to vote I was going to have to do some kind of test to prove my citizenship. With lots of questions about what it takes to be Australian! And given Mom is from Singapore and Dad is from Canada, I figured it was up to me alone to ace this test.
I hit the books. Literally... I have a tiny hammer and I enjoy smashing books. It's my thing.
This test could have any number of questions about Australian history, or geography, or culture... which means it's pretty much a sports quiz. Lets face it, that's all Aussies really care about anyhow. So I prepared accordingly.
Here I am writing my test. Question 1: Who killed Phar Lap? I didn't realise it was an inquisition. I think I might need a lawyer.
Once I completed my test, I was supposed to mail it in. But I can't reach the post box! (Just another glaring example of anti-toddler discrimination!) And I can't tricycle yet (that's another skill I hope to wake up with soon) so I was looking at a long walk.
Where have I been you ask? Hey... a hike across the Australian desert to deliver my test to John Howard personally. These things take time.
Eventually I managed to hand in my completed citizenship test, and was eagerly awaiting the official word that I could vote!
Oops... I don't think I did very well on my test.
After a couple of weeks they eventually realised it was a clerical error. I suppose my handwriting isn't really very good yet (hello, I am only 1 and a half) so they thought I said Australia's greatest cricket player was 'Don Batman' instead of this guy.
Hmmm... Don Batman. Sounds like a really interesting superhero/mafia movie. Memo to self: send script idea to Hollywood.
After checking out the podium, I decided I wouldn't be sticking around for the citizenship induction ceremony.
And there you have it... the reason I haven't blogged in 2 months. And every word of that story is true!
Dad and I have a good laugh when we realise that I was an Australian Citizen all along, and didn't have to go through the trouble of applying. Whoops! I laughed so much I pooped my pants. On purpose. Take that Dad.
Was that too much of a political discourse for you? Alright then, lets get back to the fluff. Because nobody does fluff like me!
Saskia doing what Saskia does best... hamming it up and referring to herself in the third person.
So you may have noticed I have some pigtails now. Pretty cute, no? Anyhow, Dad noticed that I now kind of look like Aunt Michelle when she was just a wee lovely lass... and somewhat bratty apparently, though I can't vouch for that.
Aunt Michelle is the one in the middle. Luckily, you can't see Dad's pigtails in this photo. Don't ask.
Compare that to my new look:
I'm just starting to perfect my 'How could I have done it?' look.
Pretty close huh? I guess this means I'll grow up able to play a mean guitar and sing like an angel. Which would make me the opposite of Mom. (Though don't tell her that, she thinks her rockabilly version of Twinkle Twinkle is a real winner. And by rockabilly, I mean massively out of tune.)
Love to all! And I'm glad to be back...
S.
