New bed!

In case yesterday's 'Heffalump' post didn't make the point clearly enough, I'm a big girl now. Which means I get to do big girl things, like sleep in a larger bed.


Check out how much space there is for me now. As you can see, I was a little cramped in my old bassinet... but now there's so much room I can sprawl out! And apparently I sleep out of focus, who knew?

I'm also big fan of my distinctive new pink jumper, it's a gift from some friends in the UK (though it was obviously stolen from Gwyneth Paltrow's kid... which makes it an especially wicked awesome gift! Thanks M+S.)

Later...

Sass

Who's a Heffalump?

Well today I turned 4 months old, and to celebrate (happy birthday to me!) Mom took me in for a checkup and I got to sit on a plastic scale. Whee! I mean sure, it's not quite balloons and cake and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey... but I must have really enjoyed it because apparently I'm too young for sarcasm. Whee I say.

So check out those numbers... 8 kilos! By my rudimentary calculations that means I weigh a little more than 3 and slightly less than the letter B. Or I equal the circumference of Pi. Mmm... jelly Pi.

My weight is literally off the chart. (Good thing I'm full of self esteem.) Dad is pretty stoked and keeps saying I have "great stats" but then I think he might be confusing me with his fantasy baseball league.

Mom on the other hand is really worried that all the other kids are going to start calling me a Heffalump.

And me, I just want to try one of these jelly Pi's I keep hearing about.

(Picture of me, stunned by the accusations of Heffalump-ism.)

Grandpa's Birthday.

So Grandpa Charles is now officially 192 times older than me. He used to be a sailor, so I guess this means he knew Captain Cook, or something like that.

We had a celebration at his house with all my cousins there. They still won't let me eat cake, and apparently babies + lit candles are a bad idea (who'da thunk it?) so I wasn't allowed to blow them out either. I'm thinking me and some of my other baby comrades should be getting together and demanding more rights. Collective bargaining dude, that's what this country was built on! Wait a minute... AWA? Where the hell did that come from?

At least my cool cousin Ben understands my frustrations. But... uhh, dude, you're getting a little close there and you are full of boy germs.

This is my mom's cousin Lynn. She brought me some cool shoes from Hong Kong and promises to take me shopping there one day, therefore she is officially one of my home grrls now. Boo yah!

Just another example of 'the man' trying to keep me and my baby-power views in check. Yeah, I got some radical ideas to get out there and pinning me under a new toy cage isn't going to... wait, does that thing squeak? Ooohh shiny... and pink and orange stipes are my fave!! Ok, if it's a brightly covered cage that matches my outfit, then I'm cool with that.

Das Kapital and all that.

Sass.

So I've been thinking lately...

Or at least, I think I'm thinking. Or maybe I just look like I'm thinking (check out the tongue action in these photos). I'm either concentrating really hard or the left side of my mouth tastes delicious. Either way, I present to you my 'deep thoughts' face.

Daddy reads to me and I wonder to myself... Why doesn't Cookie Monster ever get fat? He's been eating nothing but sugar, chocolate and cookie dough for the last 30 years, so how is he even still alive?



I lean back and I wonder... when will I be able to control my bodily functions? And how do I let Dad know I need to be changed?


I float on my back and I think... if I pee in the tub do you think anyone will notice?



I sit back and smile and I wonder... why is it my parents are soooo fascinated with me? I mean, I like them and all but you don't see me break into tears of joy just because they figured out how to play peek-a-boo.



I lie on the floor and I wonder... why am I on the floor anyhow? Last thing I remember I was sleeping peacfully.



I sit in my chair and I wonder... why does my bib say Saturday when it's actually Sunday? And how do I have any concept of what day it is anyhow? Everyday is like Sunday for me. Suckers.

Later...

S.

Hair-volution

You know, sometimes it's like I don't exist... all anyone ever talks about is my hair! Sure, it's glorious and lustrous and completely idiosyncratic. But there's so much more to Saskia than Saskia's hair. Yes my friends, remember that there is a person who likes to refer to herself in the third person living underneath this gorgeous mane.

Having said that, lets talk about my hair.


Mom's been greasing it up lately to treat my head. No, not lice... just cute baby dandruff. Yes, everything on a baby is cute, even crusty flakes of scalp. Awwww....


Ahhh, the fin style. Reminds me of a joke. Why don't sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny! HA! And dad thinks he's the comedian in the family.


Good god, who took this photo?? I had no idea I was going bald already. I tell you, there is a lot of stress in my life these days... the pressure to hold rattles, stop drooling, come up with a funny blog entry once a week... you people demand so much from me!

Later... I gotta go see a guy about a thing.

Sass

Price check on aisle 6

Shiny shiny packaging... I'm drawn to it... The blue M&Ms are calling my name and I've never even tasted them before... 

Attack!

So you remember that guy I've mentioned a few times, Dad? Turns out he and his partner-in-crime Mom have been stalking me and taking photos. This one time, I'd had enough and let them have it!


Here is a photo Dad was taking and I just wasn't in the mood to play nice.




I got in his face and tried to confront him, you know... I need my personal space after all. Then Dad got his accomplice Mom to get me from the other side, she was hiding behind the couch waiting to pounce!

How sneaky. How cheeky. How Mom.

I'll catch up with you later, when hopeully I'll have my good face on.

S.

My whirlwind tour of Canberra

Holy moly did I meet a lot of people.


Dad kept calling me his little show-pony. I bet he'd be charging admission to see me if he could get away with it. Hmmm.... I wonder what my cut of the profits would be...

Anyhow, we were there to celebrate Mom's book launch. Did I mention Mom wrote a book with some other people? It's about Australia's relationship with International Law, or as Mom explains it to me when she reads it to me at night... "The little fluffy kangaroo and his best friend Mr Bear ignored the warnings of the Security Council and decided to huff-and-puff and blow the terrorists away, despite having no evidence they actually ate the porridge."


Here is Mom signing a copy of her book. All she needs to do is sell about a billion of them and I can get a free university education!


While in Canberra Dad's friend Michael was showing me the latest in hi-tech 4D nano-macro laser-guided media-convergant baby blogging software version 2.0. I'm eager to get my hands on one of those puppies.


I also went to a dinner party. I saw Jamie. For a moment, I screamed in terror. Then I was fine. Don't ask me why. I'm a woman and it's my prerogative.


Here I am in front of the parliament buildings, playground for politicians and dealmakers. I tried to explain to Dad the difference between the Senate and the House of Representatives, but he just kept wanting to eat ice cream. In the cold. I screamed in frustration.


I was very upset that 'Bling' was accepted but Dad refused to allow me to spell 'Fshizzle' or 'Mnizzle' despite all my cool friends assuring me it's in the dikshonarie.

Cut me some slack with my Scrabble skills people, I'm 3 months old for crying out loud!


Wow, what a mugshot. Mom's been trying my hair down lately. You can see what I think about it. I say bring back the mohawk!

So... Canberra is cooler than you think. Especially when I'm in town. I had a blast, hangin with Mom and Dad's friends and taking in the sights. I even overheard Dad saying something about me being conceived there... one of these days I'll have to look that up in the ensyklopedeeah and see what he's referring to.

Peace Out!

Sass