Saskia's Guide to Popularity

So here you go girls, Saskia's tips on how to be THE popular girl in 3 easy steps:

Step 1. Get yourself a trippin' new hat. Preferably something floppy, to help slim those pudgy cheeks.


Step 2. Pick up a hobby, like volleyball, or gardening, or ballet... or in my case, competitive eating. (That's right, even though all I've ever eaten at this point in my life is boob-juice, I'm pretty sure I can devour anything you put in front of me. Or at least, I'm always willing to try. Like this delicious nipple ball. Dad is so proud.)



Step 3. Get your parents to introduce you to other little girls. (OK, I suppose if you can manage step 3 then steps 1 and 2 aren't really required. Ummm... look, just go with it for now people. The guide is a work in progress.) Anyhoo... you can see the results! This is Audrey, one of my new cool friends


Poor Dad isn't really all that popular with all the other little girls (he refuses to follow my 3 step plan) so I like to hang out with him now and then to try and make him feel like he's still cool. Here I am trying to explain my flux capacitor to him, but I think he just nods his head a lot and pretends he understands.


Also... this weekend Dad and I watched the baseball playoffs together, and I wore my lucky pink Yankees underwear. Dad told me that he got super dreamy superstar Derek Jeter to sign it for me! I couldn't really read the handwriting but was very proud!

Unfortunately the Yankees were eliminated. Dad seemed pretty pleased about that... then I noticed what he had actually written on my lucky underwear. Doh!

Now I'm just waiting for Dad to fall asleep so I can write 'Dad Sucks' on his forehead! That'll teach him to mess with a popular girl.

Peace and love to all (except Dad and Detroit Tiger fans)...

Sass